Isolation: Book 2 of The Quarantine Series Page 18

  “Milo,” I pant, throwing my head back. My hands move all over his bare shoulders.

  I start to moan when he runs his tongue along my inner lips. My breathing accelerates and I pull at his hair. “I need you inside me right fucking now.”

  Milo looks up at me in shock. It was the last thing he expected to hear. I don't care. It feels like sure death if I can’t touch him, if I can't be with him.

  Milo crawls up my body, kissing his way through as I lie back. He unbuttons the top two buttons of my shirt, slides the fabric and my bra to the side to expose my breast.

  He takes one of my hardened nipples into his mouth, sucking hard. He ensures not to use his teeth to clamp down. He remembers everything about me.

  Moving on up, he hovers over my face as we stare at each other for a heart-pounding second. He snakes one hand into my hair, the other wrapping around my waist. He slams his lips onto mine, and we both moan at the same time.

  It’s a bruising kiss. It’s rough. It’s heady. It’s all tongue, lips, teeth.

  We are kissing each other as if our lives depend on it, our harsh breaths filling the room. I haven’t kissed him like this in years.

  I circle my hands around his neck to pull him even closer. I moan against his lips when Milo runs his fingers through my swollen core. Teasing me. Rubbing me. I feel his length pressed against my pussy, grinding against me.

  “You are shaking,” he whispers and slightly pulls back.

  “What?” I frown, confused by the sudden shift. “What are you talking about?”

  “Baby, you are shuddering right now.” he says quietly. His eyes move all over my face.

  I don’t realize that he is correct until I look at the hand resting on his biceps. My fingers are shaking. Looking down, so is my whole body. I am sweating.

  None of it are signs of lust or a result of being turned on.

  “You are scared of me,” he observes quietly. Milo looks... sad. Incredibly sad. Fuck.

  “I sometimes shake when I am excited,” I say quickly.

  Milo gives out a laugh that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You are a terrible liar.”

  “It’s not intentional,” I try again.

  “I know,” he whispers. “You are scared of me, Rave. We both know it. But if this is ever going to work, I need you to feel safe around me again.”

  “Milo, I am not scared.”

  “You are because I can physically overcome you. But you also scare the shit out of me. The physical control I can exercise is momentary, but the emotional control you exercise over me is not temporary. You can crush me with a wave of your hand, but I don’t think you understand that quite yet. Until you do,” he studies my face, then whispers, “let’s try something different.”

  -----------

  Milo

  “Let’s try something different.”

  Raven is patiently waiting to see what I am referring to.

  “I want you so fucking much, but I first want to show you that can trust me again,” I murmur against her lips.

  She is staring at me with wide-eyes. She gives me a nod, but her eyes are asking the same question we are both worried about, how.

  I move back from the bed in an effort to show her what I mean. I sit on the floor, and lean against the wooden desk table. Undoing my jeans, I lift my hips up to pull them off.

  Quietly, I watch Raven give my body a once over. The years without Raven left me… frustrated. I completely lost interest in sex. Correction. I was very interested in sex but with only one specific person.

  It wasn’t hyperbole when I told her that she ruined me for other women.

  I tried, but I couldn’t force an attraction that I didn’t feel, for a fuck that I didn’t want.

  This means that most of my frustrations had to be taken out at the gym, in between my grueling work schedule.

  I am aware of the female attention I receive, but there is only one female whose attention I’m interested in. From the looks of it, I don’t think she hates it.

  “Take off the shirt, baby,” I breathe.

  I am sitting a few feet away from the bed, leaning against the base of the table in hopes that the distance makes her feel safe, and her shaking will stop.

  This is a crucial moment for us, to show her how things can be different. To show her that she is in control too.

  Raven lifts the shirt above her head. It takes everything in my power to keep my stoic look in place. “The bra too,” my voice is barely above a whisper now.

  Raven complies once more and without argument. I dig my palm into the floor to force myself to stay put as her perfect full tits spill out.

  “Fuck,” I hear my own pained voice. I stare, enchanted by that sight.

  She still looks like fucking Snow White, with her long lashes fanning her cheeks and her parted red lips. She is that fantasy that’s finally in the reach of my fingertips. I take in harsh breaths to control myself from pouncing on her.

  Raven also looks mystified by the connection we share. My breathing is erratic, but I refuse to lose control of this situation. “Lean back. Open your legs wide.”

  Raven doesn’t break our eye contact. Good girl. She leans back slightly and opens up. My mouth goes dry when I take in her naked, vulnerable body.

  “Show me how you touch yourself,” my words are choppy from my ragged breathing.

  “What?” Raven finally speaks, surprised by my request.

  “Play with yourself,” I ask in a more demanding voice.

  “Umm…” Raven hesitates. “I don’t really do that,” she admits in a small voice.

  “Never?”

  Raven shakes her head. I am surprised by her revelation, but I mask my shock. I don’t want her to feel self-conscious.

  “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. Do you know how many times I have jerked off thinking about you? My dick twitches if I even look at you. Do you know why?”

  Raven is staring at me in awe, her eyes opening a little wider. She waits for me to answer my own question.

  “Because when you are with someone your soul is connected to, the physical aspect heightens to an immeasurable amount,” I say hoarsely. “Palpable energy mixed with an array of emotions; that’s what it feels like when I am with you. There is nothing like it in the world. It’s fucking addicting, like drugs, even better than drugs.”

  I notice the effect my words have on Raven. Her face flushes. I watch her pupils dilate. Her chest is still rising and falling heavily.

  I know that she wants me, but she doesn’t know how to break through her barriers to get to someone she doesn't trust. She has to become unhinged to let herself go, but that’s not her style.

  “You know how we work with investment bankers?” I ask.

  Raven frowns at the irrelevant topic. Nonetheless, she gives me a nod.

  “Believe it not, half the assholes are addicted to cocaine,” I scoff. “I pitied their lack of self-control when I realized that I am no better. I am fucking addicted to you like they are to their drugs. I didn’t know which one was worse. Physical addiction or mental addiction. So, I tried it.”

  “Tried what?”

  “I tried cocaine at one of our company parties.”

  “What?” Raven sounds baffled, and rightfully so. “Don’t do it again,” she chides.

  I laugh at her disapproval. “Trust me. It’s not my drug of choice.” And it’s not my style.

  Raven frowns again, contemplating what other drugs I have tried and my drug of choice.

  “You,” I answer the question she is about to ask. “A hit of cocaine doesn’t even come close to what it feels like being with you. You are a high that I am always chasing. I’m always looking for that next hit. I could be fucking you and still find myself already craving you, going through withdrawal. Those bankers have no fucking idea about addiction. They have an addiction they can get help for, an addiction that can end. My addiction will never end.”

  “Being addicted is not a good thing,” she whispers.

  “You’re right,” I smile sadly. “Everything should be done in moderation, which is what I have been trying to do for the last few weeks. I have been trying to moderate, take things slow, and control myself. Help me achieve that,” I grab my cock and give it a slow stroke. Raven’s eyes drop down to it. “I am trying, so we can be something better. So my addiction doesn't rule my actions.”

  Raven gives me a firm understanding nod. She gets it. She gets what I am trying to do: build trust again.

  “Move your hand down, baby. Don’t overthink it.”

  Raven moves her hand down at a very slow pace.

  “Use two fingers to make small circles. Yeah, just like that.”

  I fix my gaze on Raven playing with herself. It’s even more erotic than I imagined. I start stroking myself. That sight of her is going to be the end of me.

  My harsh breathing is starting to match hers. “Do you know what you do to me? Do you have any idea how much I want you?”

  I start stroking myself harder. I pant, watching her heavy-lidded eyes fixed on me.

  “Are you wet, Raven?”

  Raven gives me another steady nod.

  My head kicks back, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. My breathing becomes erratic. I bring my head back to stare at the beautiful wide-eyed girl. “Fuck. Rub your clit.”

  Raven rubs her clit and immediately hisses. “Ahh…”

  “That’s it, baby. Don’t stop,” I give her my own restrained growl.

  Raven doesn’t back down and maintains eye contact.

  “You are so beautiful,” I openly gawk at her, mystified. “Open your legs wider. I want to see that perfect pink pussy of yours.”

  “Fuck,” Raven grinds her teeth.

  “Move your other hand to your tit and pinch your nipple.”

  Raven doesn’t need my instructions anymore. She is vigorously working herself, having found her own rhythm. I am distracted as fuck by her fingers that have picked up the pace.

  While I am barely able to keep control, I want us to come together. I grip my dick tighter, sending her an onslaught of dirty talk to push her over the edge.

  “You drive me fucking crazy. I just want to lock you up and fuck you for months. I want to pound your tight pussy so hard till you arch your back every goddamn time.”

  “Oh God, Milo,” Raven moans in a low voice. I love watching the effect my words have on her. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes heat up.

  “I want to lick that pussy of yours till you come on my mouth over and—”

  My voice is cut off by Raven’s intensified moan as she starts to clench.

  “I want to make you squirt, drenching my dick. Then I want you to do it again in my mouth while I eat you out.”

  “I’m about to come,” Raven parts her lips to let out her whimpers.

  “Fuck,” I come with my eyes fixated on her, my cum landing on my thighs and hand.

  I lean back against the wooden desk. The room is filled with both of our panting. A hit of fucking ecstasy and she didn’t even have to touch me.

  But I am not quite done with her yet. Raven is still coming down from her high when I slowly move towards her.

  “Baby, I need you to try to relax.”

  Raven nods at me frantically, panting heavily.

  In less than a second I have her on her back again. It’s the moment of truth. Her orgasm high will hopefully divert her usual reaction.

  I move Raven’s fingers, which are still lying dormant on her pussy and spread her legs wide open to bury my face between them, to finish what I started.

  Raven sounds like she is about to pass out when I suck on her clit. She is overstimulated, and her fingers dig into my hair.

  She calls out my name right as she comes hard on my mouth. Raven’s whole body shudders, but this time for a very different reason.

  I sigh a relief and kiss the inside of her thigh.

  After I clean myself up in the bathroom, I come back to find her in the same unmovable state. A smile tugs at my lips at her state.

  She is adorable. I just want to inhale her. She is intoxicating, like a trap. Once you fall into it, you can never dig yourself out.

  I collect her in my arms, and reposition us. Raven’s head automatically falls on my chest.

  She peeks up at me. “Hi,” she says sheepishly.

  “Hi,” I kiss the top of her head.

  We are both quiet. There is only one question that I want to ask. It's the elephant in the room that neither of us have directly addressed.

  “Will this bring about anxiety? What sets it off?” I whisper in her hair.

  Raven tenses for a moment, then responds, “I‘m fine right now. Random things set it off.”

  I nod against her and wait for her to expand on it. She does not. I keep stroking her hair, brushing some of it off her face.

  -----------

  Raven

  I am still in a disheveled state. I can feel how hard my heart is thrumming.

  I don’t know what Milo is talking about. I don’t feel dread. My lust is dominating over all of my other senses.

  My eyes land on Milo’s semi-hard cock. We just finished but I shouldn’t be surprised. I am about to trail my hand down his stomach when Milo stands.

  “Our clothes should be washed by now. I am going to throw them in the dryer.” He stands to move away from the bed.

  “Wait,” I urgently whisper. “Don’t move.”

  Before we do anything else, I need to show him that I am not scared. That we can move past… our past.

  It’s just an adjustment period. It’s a situation that’s unique to our relationship. I doubt other normal couples are trying to navigate such tricky waters.

  Milo frowns at my request but gives me a nod. I get on my legs, which are still shaking after the orgasm, and move closer towards him. I brush some of the hair off his forehead.

  He still needs a damn haircut for his unruly hair. His handsome face is now sporting a five o’clock shadow, and his eyes are shining like the city of Oz as he quietly speculates, trying to figure me out.

  Stroking his cheek, I move my hand down between us. Milo groans low in his throat when I wrap my fingers around the base of his dick.

  I trail kisses down his torso, till my knees hit the floor. Giving him a slow lick first, I close my mouth over the tip of his cock.

  “Fuck, baby,” Milo growls, both of his hands flying out to fist my hair.

  Bobbing my head, I start to suck him off harder. I quicken my pace while the onslaught of dirty words pouring out of Milo’s mouth has my cheeks heating up again.

  “Your mouth feels so good.”

  “I love looking at you with my cock filling your mouth.”

  If he doesn't stop talking, I am going to come just from listening to his words.

  “I love fucking your mouth.”

  “Do it,” I whisper, while I lick his tip to taste him.

  “Do what?” Milo freezes, once more confused by my peculiarity.

  I stay on my knees but pull away from his dick completely. His hand almost shoots out to push my face back. He looks like he is about to lose his shit, but he stays put.

  “I want you to fuck my mouth,” I clarify.

  “What?” Milo asks again.

  “Don’t ask again,” I say more confidently this time. “I want you to fuck my mouth, and it needs to be rough.”

  Milo doesn’t ask me again, and I part my lips for him. He is watching me closely, trying to assess if this is a mental breakdown. He must decide that it’s not because his hand fists the back of my hair.

  I open my mouth a little wider in anticipation. Milo steps closer and thrusts himself inside my mouth, but not quite as rough as I know he likes to be in this situation.

  Milo forgot. He might not have divulged on his sexual conquests, but those women sure did.

  I know how rough he likes this particular act from their accounts. Just like the dirty talk, he held back in the past because I was young and shy.

  Yes, back then this might have freaked me out. However, now I can openly voice my sexual comfort level. I would never offer something in bed that I couldn’t handle, and I am aware of the importance of a physical connection for Milo.

  We are finally on the same page, emotionally. It’s ironic that now it’s our physical connection that’s crippling us.

  Our physical relationship has always been explosive; toxic at times, and dynamite during other moments. We have to find some sort of happy median that allows me to feel safe, and allows him to view me as his sexual partner.