Isolation: Book 2 of The Quarantine Series Read online

  She is slicing me open and reaching inside me to decode my very DNA. She is reading the sequences right out loud without my permission.

  “Rave,” Mia starts again, “I love you. We all love you. No matter what happens, I want you to know that none of this is your fault. I am so sorry I insinuated otherwise. Just because Milo is my brother doesn't mean I wouldn't support you. If you want to come forward—”

  “We should go downstairs for dinner,” I cut Mia off with a glare, silently willing her to shut up.

  Has Mia lost her damn mind?

  Did she even consider the weight of the words she was just about to utter? Words that should never be spoken out loud or in the light of day.

  If those words got out, it would tear apart Uncle Reese and Dad's lifelong brotherhood bond. My parents would never speak to any of the other Sinclairs and insist that I do the same.

  My dad is a man who lost his mind because his wife left him. Calling him emotional is putting it mildly.

  Dad might have neglected me throughout my childhood, but he wouldn't be able to deal with someone from this family defiling his only daughter.

  My parents are living here based on Milo's financial assistance. My father would rather be on the street than accept Milo's money or continue living here if he found out what Milo did.

  He would also ensure that Milo ends up in jail. All of our lives and families would be left in shambles, completely devastated.

  “You don't owe Milo anything,” Mia sighs. “If you want to come forward, I’ll be there for you. I’ll support you.”

  I need to get out of this conversation. I can't acknowledge what Mia is trying to get me to admit. It’s not going to lead to any acceptable solution.

  “Mia,” I warn her in a stern voice. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “Just because he signed some papers to be your guardian, doesn't give him the right—”

  “I don't know what you think you know, but—”

  “You don't have to protect him.”

  “I am not protecting anyone,” I snap.

  It's the truth. I am not protecting Milo. I have already had my opportunity for retribution, and I made a different decision for myself.

  My road to recovery has always been redemption, never about revenge.

  Plus, the truth of the matter is, this situation is so much more complicated than I could ever articulate.

  Consent, non-consent, force, coercion, sex, comfort…all of those lines have blurred together at some point with Milo.

  I can't ruin our lives over blurred lines. Which is why I always wanted to take this deep-seated secret to my grave so no one would know of our horrible, tumultuous affair and our toxic physical relationship.

  “No man should ever get away with that,” Mia tries again in a choked voice. “Milo was the one who taught us that, remember?”

  “Please stop talking,” I hold up my hand and raise my voice. Mia clearly knows enough to destroy our lives. I have to do damage control and convince her what she knows is a complete farce. “You sound ridiculous and confused. How can you think so little of your own brother?”

  “I'm not confused. I suspected something was wrong, and then I overheard you guys. I know what I heard!”

  “You heard wrong,” I say with a fake sternness that I don't feel.

  “I did not. You are in denial, which would be fine if the situation wasn't unsafe for you.”

  “Why would the situation be unsafe for me?”

  “Because Raven, Milo rape—”

  “STOP!” I shriek at the top of my lungs, the pitch of my voice making her jump.

  I didn't mean to scare her. I just had to drown out her voice. I'd never be able to survive if Mia finishes that sentence.

  Mia is the one mirror I can never hide from. And that mirror is standing tall, reflecting back all of the agony rolling around inside of me.

  She doesn't shy away from my stern gaze but levels me with a look of her own. It's not anger. It's not accusal. It's empathy and kindness because she knows I'm so fucked in the head that I've refused to acknowledge it.

  I have never even said that word out loud or to myself. I hate that word. It makes me feel worthless.

  Weak.

  Like a victim.

  Like a statistic.

  I have erased that word from my vocabulary. Because if I erased it, then it doesn't exist.

  And something that doesn't exist could not have happened.

  This room is fucking suffocating. Maybe I can climb out the window. Are there really no other exits other than the door Mia is blocking?

  “Rave,” Mia drops her voice, with more tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to push you. You have every right to discuss this at your own pace. But I am worried about your safety. I don’t know what he is doing to you. What would you do if the situation were reversed? If someone did that to me, would you just sit back and watch?”

  “Mia,” I take a horrified step back.

  My mouth goes dry. My eyes flicker to a familiar spot on the floor. I might have replaced the carpet with a hardwood floor, but nothing has changed.

  Terrible images start dancing in my head. The thought of Mia lying on that same spot as someone she trusts traps her in and rips into her. The idea of her crying out for help and begging for a way out.

  I can't… She can't go through that. She is just a baby—the little princess.

  I was the same age as Mia. I know what it does to your young soul when someone you love unconditionally does something unthinkable.

  There were other times when Milo didn't stop after I asked him to, but something snapped at that moment. I can't explain it.

  I left for Paris the very next day after it happened.

  I'd put myself through any hell to protect Mia from that experience. And that’s what she is trying to do right now.

  She is putting herself through any hell to protect me, including giving up her favorite person in the world, Milo.

  “I'm sorry,” Mia repeats. “I know you are not ready to talk about this. If I didn't believe the situation to be genuinely dangerous for you, I wouldn't push you. It just doesn't make any sense. Instead of reporting him, you are hanging out with him?”

  Because I don’t have the Sinclair sibling moral compass!

  Milo taught them that society sets the rules, and they have to follow them. If you break the rules, you have to suffer the consequences as punishable by law.

  He instilled this moral compass so deep into Mia and Reid, that Mia can’t even release Milo from the same obligations and the standards that he himself set.

  She would never be able to understand a man getting away without paying the consequences as demanded by law.

  It is the exact damn reason why Milo always insisted on having me send him to jail. He was adamant that going to jail is the only solution if I felt wronged by his actions.

  Alternately, if I didn’t feel wronged, it meant that I felt the same as he did.

  He refused to understand that I don’t have the same moral compass as the Sinclair siblings. It’s one of the only things I never picked up from them, despite the years together.

  Milo has them brainwashed to the point that there could never be another option other than redemption as set by society.

  Mia is trying to do the right thing. She is utilizing what she has been taught and facing off with me to protect me.

  Despite her young age, she is so capable. Mia is strong. If she were in my shoes, she would have raised hell by now to set things right. But I am not Mia.

  I view the world differently.

  Good people are capable of doing bad things, and punishment is not the only way to redeem your soul.

  Milo is a good man who made some terrible mistakes. I know that.

  That knowledge does not take away the hurt from those moments, nor does it decrease the anger I feel angry towards him for making me fear him.

  But that doesn’t mean I seek retribution. I don't.

  “Mia,” I speak steadily. “I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding.”

  Mia shakes her head. “No, there hasn't. Milo should go to jail. If he serves time for his actions, he'll come out as a better man on the other side. I believe in Milo. He will accept his punishment so he can become a better man. That’s the only way he can redeem—”

  Mia's voice is cut off by the sound of a text alert from my phone. On instinct, I look down at my phone. Mia steps closer to me.

  “Rave,” she whispers. “I love you. If you come forward, no one will hold this against you. But this is your story and your decision. I just want you to know that I am here for you to support you. And I know that my brother will step up and right the wrong he did. It’s the only way he can become the person he was meant to be.”

  I should be proud of Mia. I should hug her and thank her for being there for me. For willing to unblur the lines for my sake.

  I should be overjoyed to have someone in my corner. Yet, I hate everything she is saying.

  I am covered with sheer panic over her knowledge. I am scared of what this might mean for her relationship with Milo. Or how it might put him in danger.

  And I am embarrassed for myself. My little sister is teaching me how to come forward with a #MeToo moment. It's supposed to be my job to teach her.

  I am covered with shame that a seventeen-year-old has to point out that it's inappropriate to hang out with my sexual aggressor.

  Looking down at the text message again, I almost laugh at the irony and timing of the message, even though none of this is funny.

  Something other than “feeling under the weather” hits me. Opening the door, I walk downstairs, tuning out Mia's sobs and her pleas to stay.

  I grab my keys and jacket. I hesitate, then grab another key from the tray, one that I forgot about.

  Flinging the front door wide open I leave behind my personal hellhole.

  CHAPTER 13

  -----------

  Raven

  For years, the Sinclair family has been a conundrum to me. They are a large family, yet all of them are so damn lonely. Their lives seem perfect from the outside, yet it’s all a facade.

  I pined to be part of this family, but the hope to be one of them burnt to flame a long time ago. I came back after all these years only to find out that nothing has changed here, and...

  I lost Reid again.

  I knew this would happen. The moment he caught me walking out of Milo’s room, I knew this was the only way it would end, with Reid excusing himself from my life.

  But it is still bone-chilling once I did receive the actual confirmation of that fact.

  I have been calling Reid for weeks. I’ve sent him texts and emails. I’ve left voicemails. He finally texted me back. It was cosmic. He laid the truth on me right as Mia did the same.

  Reid: If I keep being your friend, then I’ll never be happy. If you care about me even a little, then please stop explaining. Please stop calling. I don’t want to hear it. Just let me go.

  One text summed up a lifelong friendship. Our entire relationship. It sealed the deal.

  During our worst fight to date, Reid called me toxic. He was right. Milo used to be a stellar human being. He got too close to me and it ended in disaster.

  I would never want that for Reid.

  Reid is pure. He is good. He is a light in my life that burns bright.

  Maybe he made the right decision. I belong in the dark and behind the shadows, with someone just as broken.

  Reid doesn’t need me to infect his life with my darkness. Nonetheless, it doesn’t decrease the pain.

  It’s like when someone takes a hacksaw and cuts your whole body into two pieces, that’s what it feels like.

  I lost half of my soul, and the other half is being crushed under a giant boot. This pain is insurmountable, but a soft touch on my shoulder cuts through my pain.

  I feel Milo’s hand before I hear his voice. “Rave, what are you doing here?”

  I am at my old house, the brownstone a few doors down from the Sinclairs.

  After Dad and I moved out, the owners started doing Airbnb. Reid and I used to come here on the days the owners were unable to rent it out.

  I still had a key, and they never changed the locks. This place holds memories to a lot of our shenanigans. It seemed fitting to sit here for hours to mourn him.

  I don’t bother asking how he found me. From my peripheral vision I watch Milo pick up the phone I dropped and sit on the patio steps with me.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” his tone is softer, which means that he read the text.

  Comforting strokes run through my hair, and we both stare into the dark backyard.

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  I don’t provide him with an answer. I didn’t come here to talk. I came here to forget.

  “Do you want to hit me?” Milo asks.

  “Yes,” I respond before he forms the entire question.

  I hear his husky laugh. “Okay, just not the face. It’s my moneymaker.”

  I crack a sad smile. Before we even discuss Reid, there is a more pressing matter to deal with.

  “Mia knows.” It’s a straightforward statement. I assume he will know what it means.

  “I figured.” I turn my face in surprise. “I went to your room, only to find Mia instead of you,” Milo explains. “Mia was angry, and she rarely ever cries.”

  “I didn’t tell her,” I offer quickly.

  “I know. She is too smart for her own good.”

  “She wants me to tell everyone what you did.”

  Milo turns his head to glance at me briefly and gives me an understanding nod.

  “I am proud of her. All those years I thought she was tuning out my lectures. Mia has a good head on her shoulders.”

  I scowl at just the image of Milo behind bars. Is that what he wants?

  “Why do all of you fucking Sinclairs think alike?”

  “We have to take responsibility for our actions. Isn’t that what I taught all of you?”

  “Or you can just control your behavior,” I snap. I can’t hide the sourness in my voice. “Then, there are no bad actions to take responsibility for.”

  Milo stares at me instead of responding.

  “You are upset because of Reid,” he says it as if the other news should not even be a point of conversation.

  “Aren’t you?” I ask. “He is your brother and he might never speak to you again either.”

  Milo sighs. “I assumed that risk.”

  He did, but he also forced me to assume the same risk.

  Actually, Milo is the last person I should be speaking to right now. He forced a choice down my throat that ended the lifelong bond I have had since my birth.

  Milo will never understand how this feels. Unless you were born with another person, you will never know.

  It’s like having a twin. Life will always feel half without your twin. Milo cost me the person who is literally a part of me.

  I want to yell at Milo and hurl insults at him. But even in my stubborn stupor, I know that it’s not his fault... not unless he is behind us getting discovered.

  Which is why I need to hear him deny it at least once. I am beating a dead horse, but I can’t help myself after this new development with Reid.

  I can get over the humiliation of getting caught naked in front of my religious father.

  I can get over the concussion, the physical pain, and the frustrating moments when my body refused to cooperate after falling down the stairs.

  I can even get past Milo’s decision at that moment to only acknowledge consent based on a physical reaction, rather than my verbal one.

  However, if Milo purposefully shoved our naked bodies in Reid’s face, knowing how Reid felt about me, then that might be the cruelest thing he has ever done, and to his own sibling no less. If he had a hand over hurting his brother to this extent, then he is not the man I want.

  It will destroy the trust we have built so far.

  It will tear me apart if it's true.

  “What do you mean you assumed that risk? Do you mean you assumed that risk by exposing us to our families?” I ask in a low voice.

  “How many times are you going to ask me the same damn question?” Milo asks coolly. He looks irritated and on edge as well.

  My anger comes out to match his. “And yet you are still to provide me with a yes or no answer. I have to overlook a lot of your shit, Milo. I told you what I need from you. If I can’t trust you then we are done for good. So, I am going to ask you one more time and I want a straightforward answer. Did you or did you not ask our parents and Reid to come to your room that day so we can get caught together?”